Today is the last day at my job. I gave five weeks notice, put together a hand off plan, met with all the stakeholders, and created a step-by-step manual on how to do my job when I’m gone. This work comes naturally to me as a process-oriented, Type A human. The most difficult work came later when person after person asked me the same two questions: “What happened?” and What’s next?”

I appreciate and admire Roxane Gay so much. My copy of Bad Feminist is filled with marginalia and I follow her on Twitter to keep up with her latest essays. She writes in a way that examines her subject from all sides and illustrates the complexity of situations that may seem black and white. Her written work is wonderful, but I rarely hear her speak. When I found this video, I watched it three times in a row. Gay’s struggles with saying ‘no’ resonated deeply with me. Here’s a snippet: