I appreciate and admire Roxane Gay so much. My copy of Bad Feminist is filled with marginalia and I follow her on Twitter to keep up with her latest essays. She writes in a way that examines her subject from all sides and illustrates the complexity of situations that may seem black and white. Her written work is wonderful, but I rarely hear her speak. When I found this video, I watched it three times in a row. Gay’s struggles with saying ‘no’ resonated deeply with me. Here’s a snippet:

Photograph by Talia Herman for The New Yorker

Image credit: Eleni Kalorkoti